Political Satire: Even foreign restauranteurs repelled by Donald Trump

Cafe ZeeZicht with Trump antagonists

Cafe ZeeZicht in Antwerp, Belgium, will start a boycott this Friday against all American products. “The language Mr. Trump speaks is the language of economics, so in that language we want to reply,” says the bar's owner, David Joris . "So, that’s why we are not selling American products at the moment.” Thanks to Donald John, we might have a trend starting in Europe that could have a huge impact on America's foreign trade. Joris has replaced Lay's chips with Belgian-made Croky chips, Coke has been substituted by a Belgian-made cola. What will be next?

The UK's Telegraph reports that Donald Trump's trade policies are driving Latin America into China's arms; will it drive countries like Belgium into Russia's? Maybe this is the deal going on between Putin and Trump, to build up the Russian economy. A few more like this and Vlad will let Donald John build his luxury hotel in Moscow. But the best part is Joris's idea of boycotting. How about Trump hotels in Las Vegas, Washington, D.C., Chicago, and into Canada, Toronto and Vancouver. Go to Hotels.com for substitutes. That's my Trump shot for the day.

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Political Satire: Trump a "Second Coming" for Iran

The two Supreme Leaders???

There can't be any foreign nation that the U.S. has had more complex dealings with than Iran. Okay, maybe, North Korea but in that case we are dealing with a lunatic comparable to what is in the White House today. Iran, however, has really hit the mark in its appraisal of Donald Trump's ascendancy to the presidency of the U.S. with these comments from Iran's Ayatollah Ali Khamenei...

"We are grateful to this gentleman who has come."

Remind you of something that is dear to a number of people? Pitifully, the Supreme Leader thanked trump for revealing the true face of America. According to Donald John that would be a look of racism, white nationalism, abused women, all along with an environment of hate. Don't get me wrong, the U.S. isn't looked on by the world as a perfect and benevolent nation, but we were never seen with the bleakness reflected by a Donald Trump profile. What is worse, Trump's followers, many of whom are Christians, woefully no doubt believe he is the second coming.

The question is when will this all implode and this country can return to normalcy?

Political Satire: Steve Bannon becomes President by Executive Order

Steve Bannonn

Donald Trump was sitting in the Oval Office looking at reruns of "The Apprentice" reality show when his chief strategist, Steve Bannon, walked in with papers in his hand. "I have something here that needs your signature oh great one."

"Don't bother me now, Stevo, can't you see I am tied up with something of grave importance to the future of this great country?"

"I realize the gravity of your most presidential effort, our sultan, but this too is something that will benefit our country, beyond what you might ever imagine."

"Okay, Stevo, if you insist, but just wait for this scene, here it comes, 'Your're fired,'" God, can't get enough of it. Put the paper down here (which he signs still looking at his image on TV). There, it's signed." Steve Bannon leaves the Oval Office with a huge grin on his face.

The Washington Post puts out an extra edition the next morning:

Donald Trump signs Executive Order making Steve Bannon President of the United States. No one has seen Donald John since, but three men dressed in white robes with hoods were seen leaving the White House late last evening in a pickup truck with Louisiana plates and something wrapped in a Confederate flag. No comment from the Oval Office.

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Political Satire: Trump Executive Order for Nordstrom to do what?

Donald Trump was working late in the Oval Office on a secret Executive Order that had him fired up and obviously something he was indignant about. All the doors were locked and he wouldn't even acknowledge the Secret Service agent checking on him. Go away, he boomed, and returned to work on the order. It was 2 AM and he had just tweeted that Bernie Sanders just announced that he had switched his allegiance to the Republican Party backing its new CEO. He liked that title rather than party head. He had labeled his tweet Alternative News just in case.

By 3 Am he had finished his work and decided to turn in. On his way to the master bedroom, he passed Melania coming out of the Lincoln bedroom on her way to the kitchen for some warm milk. Donald John continued on, stopping momentarily at his secretary's office to drop off his rough draft of the Executive Order. The next morning, he finally showed up close to noon. His secretary came into the Oval Office and placed the EO on his desk and, turning, returned to her office shaking her head. "Now, that'll teach those losers," he said.

That morning's Washington Post (yes, already leaked) had a spread on the front page:

"Donald Trump issues Executive Order to Nordstrom's Dept. Store to reinstate his daughter, Ivanka Trump's line of clothes. Failure to comply immediately will result in a 20% Trump tax on everything else sold in the store. Nordstrom did not reply for a request for comments."

Political Satire: Kellyanne Conway spoofs Donald Trump

Kellyanne Conway with...admirer

It is a known fact that Donald Trump doesn't listen to things until he sees them on the media. And it is also known from a recent PunditFact study that the Fox Network news is true only 17% of the time and is false or mostly false 59% of the time. That is the conservative news network and probably the one Donald John watches most. This seems logical since most of his utterances are not accurate, some not even close. Kellyanne Conway knew this so she decided to see just how far the Oval Office potentate would go. She leaked a news story that Steve Bannon was the White House leak.

The next morning the story broke on Fox, without a confirmation, of course. The White House mouth waited quietly in her office for her leader to call to tell her he would raise hell with Bannon. Nothing. Lunch passed and still no word from the great room. Conway was in a terrible fluster, asking her assistant every few minutes if she had a call. Then she was told there was one from the administration white nationalist. She answered.

"Thanks for the leak," said Stevo, "know it was you, had your imprint all over it. The Don was elated. Some of the leaks raised his popularity rating 10 points. He has put me in charge of the entire White House staff...including you."

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Political Satire: Donald Trump fights wall of kangaroos

You know, you would think that even a mentally challenged President would know which side his toast is burned on. There are world leaders who have always hated the United States and make sure we know this by their actions, Australia isn't one of the latter, but may soon become one after Donald John kicked their Prime Minister in the balls several times by phone. Donald Trump doesn't want 1,250 refugees from their detention centers, agreed on by former President Obama. If Obama made this agreement, there must have been a good humanitarian reason.

Later that day Australia's PM Malcolm Turnbull, called Mexico's President Enrique Peña Nieto, who had also fought with the new monarch over a wall between the U.S. and Mexico. They agreed that Turnbull would supply Peña Nieto with several hundred kangaroos, enough that there would be one about every one-hundred feet. They would fight off all Mexican workers going into the U.S., cutting off America's labor force in the fields, restaurants, gardening, housecleaning and more. Turnbull welcomed these workers to Australia's thriving economy.

It was only two months later. All fast food businesses had shut down in the U.S. There were no landscape centers. The fields were overgrown with unpicked crops. Trash was piling up everywhere. The U.S. economy was spiraling down. From the White House Donald John sat back in his Oval Office chair and tweeted, 'Tie me kangaroo down sport, tie me kangaroo down.' Mike Pence clapped dutifully.

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Political Satire: Infirm President-Loose cannon adviser contemplate war

The two of them were sitting in the White House Situation Room located in the basement of the West Wing. President Donald Trump and national security adviser ­Michael Flynn, sitting across the table from each other, just staring.

Donald John: What the hell are we doing here, Mike?

Flynn: Your greatness, I've heard so much about this place, I just had to see it.

Donald John: Jesus Christ, you pulled me out of my Oval Office just for that. I was busy talking to the White House designer about a new gold inlaid rug to replace that thing with a design on it.

Flynn: But that's your official seal of President of the United States.

Donald John: Mike, don't need that. I know I'm the most powerful person in the world now. What the hell's wrong with you, everyone knows that.

Flynn: Okay, then why don't we talk about starting a war while we're here. You already put sanctions on Iran for doing those nuclear tests. Let me take a few good men, sneak into the country, and bomb a Tehran night club. Then I can go right over to the Tehran News, take credit for it in the name of the United State and, bingo, we've got a war.

Donald John: Sounds good to me but, Mike, how do you plan to get out of Iran then?

Flynn: Your illustriousness, you will then wage the global war I have always dreamed of and rescue me.

Donald John: You know...it just might work.