Showing posts with label Donald trump is an alien. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Donald trump is an alien. Show all posts

Friday, June 21, 2019

Donald Trump Parody/His Armageddon #4


Bananas Man was back in the Oval Office thinking about that war he wanted to start. He just didn't know who to start one with, when he noticed the picture on the wall and the name China. The caption read, 'China is the country that could give the United States the most trouble.' Then he realized that the U.S. must be a country, and this world is broken down by countries. Strange to the alien whose Odious was assembled in a series of globules. But then, everything here was odd.

He ran back out to the female he had spoken with before and stated calmly, "I want to start a war with China, and I want to do it now." His boredom was getting the best of him and he was getting impatient for the chaos he was used to on Odious. "Send someone in here to help me get this done, he added," and returned to his office. The woman was aghast, but with her experience she knew the first thing to do was to call the Secretary of State.

The Secretary of State noticed the Oval Office door was partially open so he knocked lightly and walked in. Donald Trump/alien had no idea who he was but decided he must be the war starter so he continued, "How do the two of us start a war with China, and I mean right now?"

The SOS completely lost his ability to speak and reason until he suddenly realized the figure in front of him wasn't acting in any way like the president he knew. Collecting himself finally, "Mr. President, we can't do that without cause," and looked at his presumed but doubtful boss with complete exasperation.

"It's cause I don't like them and I want to." And that was it, no preamble to a move of going into combat that would surely result in bloodshed and loss of lives. Just "cause" he didn't like them and he wanted to. "How long will it take us to do it?" he added.

And then the SOS figured it out, the president was playing one of his war games of strategy. Something he did regularly for what he termed a sure way to keep the U.S. on its toes. Have to play along as the Secretary of State should he thought, then said, "To the situation room quickly Mr. President, and the red phone." As they hustled to the basement in the West Wing of the White House, the SOS wondered just how far the president would go this time.

It was very quiet in the soundproof situation room where Donald Trump/alien eyed a red object on the table in front of them, all alone. "What's that?" again, before he thought, then remembered this man he was with saying 'to the red phone.' He immediately wheeled around looking directly at the Secretary of State, "You get things started, then I'll take over," pushing the phone towards him.

The SOS decided the president wanted to play it by the book, took the phone and picked up the headpiece, which put him in direct contact with two of the U.S. missile launching sites in Colorado and Nebraska, gave them a red alert for China, then handed the phone to Donald Trump/alien. "The missiles are ready to fire, Sir."

The pseudo president took the phone and said, "This is the president...fire!"

The SOS almost fainted, and when getting hold of himself finally said, "Mr. President, you just started World War III."












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Thursday, June 20, 2019

Donald Trump's Parody #3


Donald Trump, alias Bananas Man, was feeling the power of having these earthlings adore him while sensing the control he held on them when demanding their attention. They were rapt with praise and he knew this gave him the right to do anything he wanted to. He would use this humankind and cast them off when they were no longer of any value to him. Cocky and pompous to a fault, Donald Trump condescendingly told them he was their leader. They wildly cheered him.

Unfamiliar with how these earth dwellers governed themselves--on Odious the male was totally in charge and chaos was the norm--he asked them what was the most important thing he could be here on earth. The answer, of course, was President of the United States. Bananas Man quickly replied, "How do I do it?" In their reaction the brown shirts explained the path to the presidency, but Donald Trump decided he would bypass all this and go straight to the White House.

As an alien, especially one from Odious, he had special powers allowing him to transport his body at will, anywhere he wanted, in any form that he chose. He decided he needed to be invisible. Bam! He was in the Oval Office looking at a man behind a large structure with articles all around, one of which he had in his hand and to his ear. He was talking, as if there were someone to listen to him. Donald Trump did a number on the man, instantly appearing in his place.

After a day of doing what presidents do, he decided this was nice but boring.
Opening the door, there was a woman sitting outside at something that looked like where he had been, but much smaller. She looked up saying, "What can I do for you Mr. president?" There was this large box on the wall with a picture where he had been sitting, showing various images with words flashing across the picture, one of which he recognized as "war."

Used to having perpetual conflict on Odious, Donald Trump blurted out, "I want to start a war."

Completely caught off guard, the woman responded, "Sir, you really should contact Congress before you do that."

"What's Congress?" before he caught himself and then said, "They can wait. I need to start a war now," and stormed back into the Oval Office to watch more of the picture on the wall.

Next, Donald Trump's Armageddon.

Thanks again to my wife, Barbara, for the alien concept!

Wednesday, June 19, 2019

A Donald Trump Parody #2


I can't tell you exactly where Odious is in the star system, but I can say that it is shunned by all the other planets as if it had a measles outbreak. A very cold and windy Uranus was so pissed at one point--Odious had sent spaceships to circle the asteroid dumping loads of garbage--that it fired off a shooting star as a warning against future invasions. It did no good. But this was Donald Trump's home and the population was proud of its unbridled son. Little did they know.

Donald Trump, or Bananas Man as he was referred to on Odious, walked the streets of New York in his new body sporting something clinging to him that he didn't quite recognize, including a rope-like piece around his neck. He noticed everyone he passed was doing the same thing so he must be fitting in. As he casually passed what appeared to be the female species of this planet, he calmly grabbed her by the butt, which was normal for him on Odious.

The woman immediately slammed him with her purse and screamed for the cops. Bananas Man reacted like the typical Odian and began to build his case to incriminate the woman, instead of him. Fortunately, there were several humans standing around wearing brown shirts that said, "Keep America Stupid," who were ready to support Donald Trump so there wasn't much the police could do. He was released and immediately started bragging about his superhuman charisma.

The shirted gang was enthralled heaping praise on their new liberator who began to deride anyone who wasn't wearing the brown shirt slogan. And then he spied a mortal that was black all over, at least what he could see of the individual, and began to berate him for being a different color. The brown shirts loved it, clapping wildly, grabbing the black man and throwing him to the ground. After several blows, the poor guy was allowed to limp off down the street.

Bananas Man quickly began a braggadocio over his prowess in, well, just about everything. There was a hot dog vendor on the corner and he was exchanging money with a customer. Donald Trump eyed the funny looking paper and metal pieces, immediately determined them of value, and exclaimed, "I have millions of those," to which the brown shirts roared approval. Looking very stern, he spoke directly to his followers, "I demand your loyalty," with yet more shouting.

Next, how the Bananas man begins to move up in the world.

Thanks again to my wife, Barbara, for the alien concept!



Tuesday, June 18, 2019

Donald Trump parody


Donald Trump first coming to earth
Most people think Donald Trump was born in the borough of Queens, New York at the Jamaica Hospital Medical Center. He wasn't. His feeble-minded followers believe his parents were Frederick Christ Trump, a real estate developer, and Scottish-born housewife Mary Anne MacLeod. They weren't. A pathetic example for news reporting by the name of Fox News is convinced he is a "god" that has been anointed to save this country. He isn't.

Donald Trump is an alien, not those from south of the U.S. border that he abhors and would persecute, but one living in a far-distant planet by the name of Odious. From a galaxy of mostly friendly asteroids, the sphere of Odious is considered the most wretched residence in space. Any being from this orb would be considered the lowest form of existence in the celestial universe. And that being would be Donald Trump, sent to the U.S. to wreak havoc.

Once here, using earth creatures, Donald Trump spawned children that somehow, in the mix between alien and human, were denied the intelligence of either. Destined to be a perpetual blight on humanity along with their procreator. But this curious immortal...thing...protected his offspring, while demanding complete loyalty from them, including heaping praise on the "father," no matter his deeds with others around him. You see, Odious was the evil planet of the galaxy.

On the planet Odious, first, it was better to lie than tell the truth, it was
The planet Odious
customary to sexually abuse women and molest children, practice egotistic supremacy, belittle others, be a racist, willingness to sacrifice others to save yourself, be authoritarian, a tactless boaster, arrogant and ignorant leading to irresponsibility, employ nepotism, and finally there is a silver lining in most beings but those from Odious do not have even one good trait.

So, on the arrival of Donald Trump from Odious, the wheels started turning in his grossly misshapen head when he viewed those around him that were so different. But in his case, of course, this made him feel even more superior, however, it was also necessary for him to fit in, so he stole the body of the first person he ran into. It appeared to be comparable to his status and he quickly discarded the body's spirit as if it had never existed.

Tomorrow, how the alien Trump makes his way in this new world.

Thanks to my wife, Barbara, for the alien concept!

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