Showing posts with label Bed bugs. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Bed bugs. Show all posts

Tuesday, February 14, 2017

Political Satire: Bedbugs responsible for Kellyanne Conway wackiness

Kellyanne's personal bed bug
Kellyanne Conway was lying on the exam table in the emergency room of Bethesda Naval hospital wearing only one of those gowns that open down the back, or front, or whatever. The bright florescent light glaring overhead made her squint, shading her eyes momentarily with her hand. Two doctors were discussing the situation over in the corner but she couldn't really hear what they were saying. One looked at her periodically and she didn't like the scowl on his face. Finally, the other doc said out loud, "It can't be," and KC came raring up.

"It can't be what?" and the two doctors hurriedly left the room calling for constraints.

Now she didn't know what to do. There was something wrong, no doubt, when Donald John had recommended that she needed medical help. Her family and staff agreed. Even Steve Bannon thought her behavior was beyond unusual; on a scale of one to ten, right now she was an eleven. It all stemmed from an itching in her brain that prompted her to say ridiculous things, even more ridiculous than she normally did. Like recently she made the statement that Donald Trump had decided to enter the priesthood and wanted KC to join him as a nun. This was on CNN, labeled alternative news.

It was right after that crawly, itchy feeling in her head. She likened it to liberals walking in her brain and said it wasn't a sure thing but thought it was Bernie Sanders. And then on another occasion, she walked into the briefing room, right up to the podium, and gave the press her daily briefing. Except, the press wasn't there, only a janitor cleaning who clapped loudly. It didn't go unnoticed since the security cameras were on and the secret service was on the floor laughing. Then she was jerked back to reality when the two docs walked back into her room snickering at each other.

"Ms. Conway, I don't exactly know how to tell you this but you have a cute little nest of bedbugs burrowing close to your brain. Right at the base of your skull located between your eyes," one of them said.

At that moment, KC's eyes crossed and she started screaming. "How the hell did they get in there?"

"Probably through your mouth. Is it open a lot?"

The real story...

MR. PRESIDENT: If you look frail, if you talk frail, and if you walk frail, you must be frail...

      ...too frail to lead this country for another four years. I know, we all know, what you are afraid of; the lunatic who could win the ...