NRA DISCOVERS ANOTHER WAY TO JUSTIFY GUN VIOLENCE - A PARODY

PARODY: Wacky Wayne LaPierre, head of the National Rifle Assn., has found the solution that will solve most of his problems when it comes to someone being shot by one of the guns he is sworn to protect. We all know it is his life's work to insure that every gun manufacturer in the U.S. sells at least one handgun to every person in the country, and that does include newborns. So with millions of guns on the street it was incumbent on LaPierre to get help for the millions of people who would be shot. He admits the numbers will be in the thousands, eventually the millions of those wounded, but unfortunately there is nothing the bloody crusader can do about the victims who die. These people are no longer a priority because they can't purchase guns.

The wacky one, Wayne LaPierre

The process is simple. Each time someone is shot but not killed they pull out their Wounds R Us kit which includes a secret "Save a Life for Gun Rights" pen  that fires a spongy projectile into the wound coated with something to stop the bleeding immediately while it expands in the bloody hole. The NRA sells the product online and it is available in all gun stores, where, unfortunately, you must ask for the product since it is kept under the counter. Wacky Wayne is elated by his new discovery, and as he has explained to his many gun company benefactors, at last we have the perfect answer to all these unreasonable gun control advocates.

Now there is a new product designed to close gunshot wounds which looks like an invention that will save many lives in the future. You can read about the real XStat here.

BRITS ARE GOOD WITH STRICT GUN CONTROL

AR-15 ASSULT RIFLE

They can buy shotguns and rifles, with certain restrictions, but handguns have been banned since 1997, according to Slate. Now listen to this zany premise, "...only the police and military are permitted to carry automatic weapons." Are these people nuts? Here's another quote by a British citizen: "I do not want it to be any easier than it is now to legally purchase a gun, and I know very few people who do." Are these people just more intelligent than us or are the gun nuts in the U.S. in complete control? I go with the latter. Here's another wild idea, 82% of responders from a survey of the Police Federation of England and Wales were opposed to being armed. They were that sure of their gun control laws that they were willing to walk around unarmed. The Brits must have exported that militia mentality across the ocean, aimed directly at the United States.

MORE GUNS = MORE GUN DEATHS

Guns aren't safe, so says a recent Simpsons' cartoon. And this correlation carries through to more injuries. There is no humor in the fact that with the United States sporting the obscene statistic of 88.8 guns per 100 people, compared with Japan at 0.6, Australia 15 and Canada 30.8. If that wasn't bad enough, the U.S. has 3.21 gun homicides per 100,000 people. Japan is 0.01, Australia 0.14 and Canada 0.51. Unless the very meaning of math has changed, and by sheer deduction, more guns, more death, duh, the U.S. is in need of some reasonable gun control. No sense asking anymore why Congress doesn't get this. We know it's wacky Wayne LaPierre and his NRA renegades who control them. It's time to rid Congress of the gun nuts. 2014!

5 MYTHS ABOUT GUNS EXPLAINED

A scientist for Public Health Watch, a part of the Open Society Institute, has come up with a recent report that addresses five important questions on the safety of guns. First, “More Guns, Less Crime” isn't true and, in fact, increases gun violence. Second, "Guns don’t kill people, people kill people" still requires the gun for the person to do it. Third, "Criminals don’t follow laws" is meaningless with several studies proving gun control laws lower gun deaths. Four, "Armed populations prevent tyranny" is ridiculous since in no developed countries except Costa Rica is a militia used for self defense. Five, "A gun in the home makes you safer" is hands down false when in fact it increases the risk of accidents, suicides, assaults and homicides. This report is a must-read!

THE VA SCANDAL

I live in Phoenix and when the news broke from a Dr. Sam Foote that there were shenanigans within the VA Hospital here we all thought it was just a carry-over from the state bureaucracy run by a bunch of incompetent conservatives that have trouble finding their way home in the evening.  It wasn't, and now we know the extent of this systemic problem. It goes all the way up to the White House and many believe that the administration and Shinseki had early warnings that were either ignored or not acknowledged. Montel Williams, a veteran himself, put it into perspective.

GUN CONTROL PREFERRED

There are eight companies who have banned guns from their premises: California Pizza Kitchens, Peets Coffee & Tea, Whole Foods, IKEA, AMC Theatres, Buffalo Wild Wings, Toys R Us and Disney World.

There are four that have made guns unwelcome in their establishments: Starbucks, Chipotle, Chile's and Sonic Drive in.

Now where are we going to eat, have coffee and entertain ourselves?

LAUGH FOR THE DAY

When Donald Trump calls someone else a clown, in this case, President Obama, you have to wonder what planet this fuzzy headed moron is living on. He did it on the Tea Party site, but, then, he is certainly in good company.