Political Satire: Running from the Oval Office Trump screams FIRE...FIRE

It was 2AM in the White House when Donald Trump emerged from the Oval Office, smartphone held high, screaming that there was a fire, when he ran into Kellyanne Conway stalking Steve Bannon. She thought he was NBC's Chuck Todd. KC said, "What the hell are you talking about? Where?"

"Right here on my phone you idiot, and you are one of the main reasons."

"If you keep hurting my feelings, I'll go on TV and tell everyone your gardener does your hair."

He thought about that for a minute and decided to change the subject. "KC, they're getting way too close to the truth about my connections to Russia, and you know how much I hate the truth. By the way, have you ever told the truth?"

She thought so long that Donald John went on. "When I told my campaign to get in touch with Russian officials about Hillary and the Democratic National Committee, they told me no one would ever know. The question now is how to hang them out to dry and get me off the hook. If you can ace that, I'll put you in charge of Steve Bannon."

"Goody, goody," was the reply, and she immediately tweeted, 'White House learns that it was Jared Kushner who set up contacts with Russia to do the hacking and is the close friend of Vladimir Putin.' She looked at her phone satisfied that she was still able to lie like the pro she was. 'Two birds with one stone." Then, "That'll teach him to try and keep me out of the White House.

The real story...

Political Satire: White House renamed Looney Bin

The transition from a perfectly normal White House, with a normal President and his normal family, to this...

We have a President who wasn't elected by the popular vote, who is a tweet mongering lunatic and pathological liar. If that weren't enough, he brings along a family, not just to join him occasionally in the White House, but to help him run the government. Without the slightest idea of what they are doing. Of course, neither does Donald Trump as President.

 E.J. Dionne sums it up best in his Washington Post headline: "Admit it: Trump is unfit to serve"

I could stop right now, having made my case for ridding this country of a demagogue who will surely, if given the time, bring the United States down to its knees. But unfortunately there is more...

Donald John sends his son in law, Jared Kushner, Ivanka's husband, to the middle-east for peace negotiations because 1)he s a real estate salesman, 2) he's Ivanka's husband, 3) he's a Jew. As a comparison, a recent negotiator was former Senator and presidential candidate, John Kerry.

Donald John goes wacko when Nordstrom drops his daughter, Ivanks's, clothes line spending a couple days tweeting nonsensical tirades against the company--prompting two other retailers to do the same--mostly ignoring the job he was elected to do,. 

Donald John names Steve Bannon his chief strategist. For what, to promote an administration of white nationalists that is already lopsided with racists like Jeff Sessions, the new Attorney General, and Donald Trump himself, with his first Executive Order to ban immigrants from the country. 

And, of course, the continued cultivation of his twin pathological liar and all around ringmaster of the White House lunatics, Kellyanne Conway. If there is anyone in the lineup of Trump flunkeys that should be kept out of the public eye and cutting the White House lawn, it is KC. 

In closing, Dionne's concerns over Trump's loyalties bother me most and should matter to the wingnuts that elected him. I'm thinking, as we can hold someone accountable legally for libel, there should be a way to make Trump supporters accountable for what this maniac is doing to our country.

The real story...

Political Satire: Mitch McConnell still the asshole even after Obama

Mitch Mitchell-The epitome of hypocrisy

Many Republican Senators, featuring Mitch McConnell at the head of the list, have made it their goal, actually a crusade, to put the good of America on the back burner with the sole purpose to stand in the way and defeat anything the Democrats propose. The movement became a monster under McConnell as the minority leader in the Senate in 2009. His quote was: “The single most important thing we want to achieve is for President Obama to be a one-term president.” A single-minded promise to screw the country in order to stop a great President from doing great things. They did.

But Barack Obama was elected to a second term, so now how do we get rid of Mitch McConnell? Legally, of course. With this in mind, I would like to suggest that McConnell immediately retire from the Senate and enter a monastery to atone for his sins against the former President. If he won't go willingly, maybe Harry Reid could be talked into shanghaiing him from the Congress subway system, then delivering him to the abbey. After all, Reid is a former boxer. I know this would never happen but can't you see it now?

First of all, you would have to explain to McConnell what atone means.

Second, none of the Monks would have anything to do with him. Naturally.

Third, McConnell would refuse to enter the monastery if there were any black monks; force needed

Fourth, he would fight to block any...well, just about anything that comes up within the walls.

Fifth, all the lies he tells in the monastery must stay in the monastery. Denied.

Pipe dreams? Yes, but this is what Progressives do with this kind of President and Congress.

The real story...

Political Satire: Trump's 'propaganda minister' in trouble

Kellyanne Conway transitions to pathological liar

Mika Brzezinski of MSNBC's "Morning Joe" show says she won't interview Kellyanne Conway because “It’s giving people dishonesty, it’s not worth the interview.” Another quote from a show anchor...

"Conway hasn’t been invited on the anchor's show for months, saying the viewer gets 'nothing out of her' because 'she constantly obfuscates and misrepresents the truth.'”

 In cognitive behavioral therapy, a pathological liar is...

"...a stand-alone disorder as well as a symptom of other disorders such as psychopathy and antisocial, narcissistic, and histrionic personality disorders, but people who are pathological liars may not possess characteristics of the other disorders. Excessive lying is a common symptom of several mental disorders."

I can see the headline now, 'Mike Pence assumes presidential duties. His first act is an Executive Order to commit Donald John and KC to the White House funny farm to receive therapy for their compulsive lying. Sorta like a modern day political Mutiny on the Bounty. Trump is of course Captain Bligh, and  Conway could play the deck hand who organizes the crew into mutiny; very appropriate casting if I do say so.

The real story...

Political Satire: Trump Executive Order making Steve Bannon Presdent

Trump's latest Executive Order

Donald Trump was secretly constructing a new Executive Order when Kellyanne Conway walked into the Oval Office. She immediately asked what he was working on since Donald John looked so insidious. He told her he was afraid he might have to resign since everyone was dropping Ivanks's clothes line and there was no way he would let this country's business interfere with his business. Besides, he planned to come out with a new line of golf balls and his business advisers were telling him 'Dump the presidency." I'm recommending Steve Bannon for the job.

"Whaddaya mean, Bannon, Mike Pence is Vice President."

"That's what this Executive Order is for but don't tell Mikey or Stevo yet."

"This is bullshit, why can't I be President?" KC retorted.

"You're a woman, to begin with, and besides, no one likes you. You have to have charisma like me."

It was right then that Melania walked in. "Here's the plan to trim the White House in gold. Mitch McConnell loves it and says he'll get the budget of $100 million approved."

Donald John looked at everyone, "Maybe I'll hang around another two years; probably won't make it past the midterms anyway."

The real story...

Political Satire: 3 Musketeers replace KKK

Yiannopoulos, Spencer and Bannon

Not that we were ever free of the Ku Klux Klan, but now we have a new version of white supremacy going by the initials YSB which stands for Milo Yiannopoulos, Richard Spencer and Steve Bannon. You know who Bannon is but the other two are less well known but just as articulate. And I guess I just don't get it because I have never understood why a white Caucasian thinks the color of their skin makes them a better human being than another person of color, particularly blacks. I read the book, "Race and Reason" over 50 years ago, convinced these people were fruitcakes then.

According to the Additive Color Theory, white is a color and black is the absence of color, scientifically speaking. That could play several ways to mean what you want, but any way you cut it, it's laughable. Look at it this way...for some reason the sun gets hung up on earth and there is no darkness for six months. All us superior whites get sun tans that make us look almost black. All the blacks out in the sun non-stop are bleached out to mulatto. Yiannopoulos, Spencer and Bannon look at each other and are horrified that no one can tell the difference anymore. Peace.

The real story...

Political Satire: Bedbugs responsible for Kellyanne Conway wackiness

Kellyanne's personal bed bug

Kellyanne Conway was lying on the exam table in the emergency room of Bethesda Naval hospital wearing only one of those gowns that open down the back, or front, or whatever. The bright florescent light glaring overhead made her squint, shading her eyes momentarily with her hand. Two doctors were discussing the situation over in the corner but she couldn't really hear what they were saying. One looked at her periodically and she didn't like the scowl on his face. Finally, the other doc said out loud, "It can't be," and KC came raring up.

"It can't be what?" and the two doctors hurriedly left the room calling for constraints.

Now she didn't know what to do. There was something wrong, no doubt, when Donald John had recommended that she needed medical help. Her family and staff agreed. Even Steve Bannon thought her behavior was beyond unusual; on a scale of one to ten, right now she was an eleven. It all stemmed from an itching in her brain that prompted her to say ridiculous things, even more ridiculous than she normally did. Like recently she made the statement that Donald Trump had decided to enter the priesthood and wanted KC to join him as a nun. This was on CNN, labeled alternative news.

It was right after that crawly, itchy feeling in her head. She likened it to liberals walking in her brain and said it wasn't a sure thing but thought it was Bernie Sanders. And then on another occasion, she walked into the briefing room, right up to the podium, and gave the press her daily briefing. Except, the press wasn't there, only a janitor cleaning who clapped loudly. It didn't go unnoticed since the security cameras were on and the secret service was on the floor laughing. Then she was jerked back to reality when the two docs walked back into her room snickering at each other.

"Ms. Conway, I don't exactly know how to tell you this but you have a cute little nest of bedbugs burrowing close to your brain. Right at the base of your skull located between your eyes," one of them said.

At that moment, KC's eyes crossed and she started screaming. "How the hell did they get in there?"

"Probably through your mouth. Is it open a lot?"

The real story...