Political Satire: White House forced to take English 101

The dufus and his minions

Say what you want, but Donald Trump is supposed to have at least a modicum of intelligence; unfortunately that has never translated into common sense. But even the acumen of the glorious new leader of the greatest country in the world needs help. How do you spell honor? Not honer. The use of the word unprecedented, becomes unpresidented in Donald John's tweets, quite possibly the fact that he still can't believe he was elected, as many thousands more feel. How's this tweet, “I am honered to serve you, the great American People, as your 45th President of the United States!”

The modern world already thinks the Trump administration is a conglomeration of racists, white nationalists, loose cannons, crackpots and full-fledged idiots. Its commander is the epitome of lunacy. The UK''s Independent said...

"The grammar used by Donald Trump in his speeches as he campaigned to become the Republican presidential candidate corresponds to that used by students aged 11 and under."

Here's how the Washington Post put it...

The English language was unprepared for the attak. It was destined to loose. And, inevitably, it chocked.

Apparently Donald John missed, or if he was there, failed, all the spelling bees in high school.

Political Satire: Anti-Trump followers flock to Mars

A NASA astronaut was asked if we should take the opportunity to colonize Mars. He said, "Nope." Ron Garan said this recently so it isn't like it was before Donald Trump was elected. Or maybe he is a supporter of Donald John. Probably not when you consider his letter to the new U.S. emperor. But I would like to propose a compromise to the idea. Establish a temporary haven for the anti-Trump folks, something like a Disneyland on Mars; they're everywhere else. Maybe even let Trump build it with, of course, staunch oversight.

Once Richard Branson has the kinks worked out of Virgin Galactic, he can start taking reservations and with the millions of takers, Branson should be able to reduce his fare of $250,000 a trip down to the typical cost of an airline ticket cross-country. It's only provisional accommodations, of course, and once Donald John is impeached or implodes and resigns, a happy group of anti-Trump devotees can return to earth and begin the process of getting rid of Mike Pence and the entire Republican Party. The last part will be the hardest but certainly the most fulfilling.

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Political Satire: Kellyanne Conway...President?

The whip was concealed in her purse but everyone she passed in the hallway could see the fire in her eyes with the complete determination that was written on her face. Kellyanne Conway was on a mission and she would let nothing stand in her way. Just outside the Oval Office, she told the staff, including Vice President Pence who was waiting, 'no one enters until I am done.' She went in without knocking and locked the door behind her. Walking over to the great ruler's desk, she took the whip from her purse, threw it in front of Donald Trump and said, "See this, hope I don't have to use it."

"What the hell do you mean walking in here like..."

"Don't give me that shit, Donald John, I got you elected and I can get you un-elected, unless you change your ways."

DJ was at a loss for words for a few minutes until regaining his composure. "I could fire you for something like this."

"You could but you won't. What I know about you would fill three extra editions of the Washington Post. Now listen to me. I'm tired of you putting out all this bullshit and then I have to explain it. Makes me look like a dumb shit."

"Hold on a minute, need to tweet something on Jeff Sessions confirmation."

"No freakin' way until I approve it; all of those go through me from now on."

"No way," said a cranky but cowering DJ, and then he pushed back from his desk and started to get up.

As he did, KC yanked the whip up from his desk, cracking it just in front of DJ's nose. "Sit, she commanded," and he did. "From now on I'm running things around here. You sit in the chair but I give the orders. This country wanted a female president, well now they've got one." She rolled the whip up, put it back in her purse, and walked out of the Oval Office.

After KC had closed the door, DJ pulled out his smartphone and dialed a number. "Hey 'Fat Tony,' remember that favor you owe me?"

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Political Satire: Will Bernie Sanders sue Donald Trump

A lawsuit might just work against loudmouth

If anyone knows a fraud it is Bernie Sanders, Democratic candidate for the 2016 Primary along with Hillary Clinton. The Bern says Donald John is a fraud because he wants to "...undo financial regulations enacted following the 2008 financial crisis as a betrayal of his campaign promises to stand up against Wall Street." If there is anyone who stands up to Wall Street, it is Bernie Sanders. He said Donald Trump is a good showman but a hypocrite by deserting the middle-class voters after campaigning heavily on this issue.

Sanders sued the DNC so why not the President of the United States. The Bern would sue Donald John, on behalf of the workers of America, for breach of contract, citing his promises to them in his presidential campaign to stand his ground against the financial giants. The courts recognize some promises as legally sound for litigation, and considering the number of pledges Trump has already broken along with the numbers of lies uttered to prove his points, there is a natural precedent for the broken promise charge filing. I can see it now...

They probably wouldn't jail a sitting President but can't you see Donald John confined to the White House wearing an ankle bracelet monitoring his every move. At least Melania would know where he is then.

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Political Satire: Even foreign restauranteurs repelled by Donald Trump

Cafe ZeeZicht with Trump antagonists

Cafe ZeeZicht in Antwerp, Belgium, will start a boycott this Friday against all American products. “The language Mr. Trump speaks is the language of economics, so in that language we want to reply,” says the bar's owner, David Joris . "So, that’s why we are not selling American products at the moment.” Thanks to Donald John, we might have a trend starting in Europe that could have a huge impact on America's foreign trade. Joris has replaced Lay's chips with Belgian-made Croky chips, Coke has been substituted by a Belgian-made cola. What will be next?

The UK's Telegraph reports that Donald Trump's trade policies are driving Latin America into China's arms; will it drive countries like Belgium into Russia's? Maybe this is the deal going on between Putin and Trump, to build up the Russian economy. A few more like this and Vlad will let Donald John build his luxury hotel in Moscow. But the best part is Joris's idea of boycotting. How about Trump hotels in Las Vegas, Washington, D.C., Chicago, and into Canada, Toronto and Vancouver. Go to Hotels.com for substitutes. That's my Trump shot for the day.

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Political Satire: Trump a "Second Coming" for Iran

The two Supreme Leaders???

There can't be any foreign nation that the U.S. has had more complex dealings with than Iran. Okay, maybe, North Korea but in that case we are dealing with a lunatic comparable to what is in the White House today. Iran, however, has really hit the mark in its appraisal of Donald Trump's ascendancy to the presidency of the U.S. with these comments from Iran's Ayatollah Ali Khamenei...

"We are grateful to this gentleman who has come."

Remind you of something that is dear to a number of people? Pitifully, the Supreme Leader thanked trump for revealing the true face of America. According to Donald John that would be a look of racism, white nationalism, abused women, all along with an environment of hate. Don't get me wrong, the U.S. isn't looked on by the world as a perfect and benevolent nation, but we were never seen with the bleakness reflected by a Donald Trump profile. What is worse, Trump's followers, many of whom are Christians, woefully no doubt believe he is the second coming.

The question is when will this all implode and this country can return to normalcy?

Political Satire: Steve Bannon becomes President by Executive Order

Steve Bannonn

Donald Trump was sitting in the Oval Office looking at reruns of "The Apprentice" reality show when his chief strategist, Steve Bannon, walked in with papers in his hand. "I have something here that needs your signature oh great one."

"Don't bother me now, Stevo, can't you see I am tied up with something of grave importance to the future of this great country?"

"I realize the gravity of your most presidential effort, our sultan, but this too is something that will benefit our country, beyond what you might ever imagine."

"Okay, Stevo, if you insist, but just wait for this scene, here it comes, 'Your're fired,'" God, can't get enough of it. Put the paper down here (which he signs still looking at his image on TV). There, it's signed." Steve Bannon leaves the Oval Office with a huge grin on his face.

The Washington Post puts out an extra edition the next morning:

Donald Trump signs Executive Order making Steve Bannon President of the United States. No one has seen Donald John since, but three men dressed in white robes with hoods were seen leaving the White House late last evening in a pickup truck with Louisiana plates and something wrapped in a Confederate flag. No comment from the Oval Office.

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